Attitude issues with wife family
5 years ago
Hello, I'm an engineer and married 3 years back and I've a kid. Before marriage my wife acted like humble and quiet. After marriage only I came to know her attitude. Every time she is praising herself and her family only. She is not caring about my family. I have been caring about her because she came from poor family background and felt she is innocent. I'm reluctant about her makeups and showing them in Whatsapp statuses and DPs by taking selfies. When I asked her the same she removes and after a few days she repeats the same. I informed it to in-laws they are claiming that I should have born 40 years back. That is what their attitude. After my marriage I kept her at in-laws house as she wanted to finish her PG as that's the last semester. Once she came to my home we planned for a kid and she conceived. During her pregnancy she spent a couple of months at my home and she weeps night time without any reason. I thought she may need her mom to look after but she didn't go for few months and weeps whole night and I suffered a lot with sleepless nights. On 5th month I sent her to in-laws house as if she continuously cries there will be problem to new born baby. Thereafter she spent 9 months. During this period she behaves like a psycho at her home and without informing me she went to some other town to enjoy with her relatives, and that time my kid was not well for a month because of indigestion due to powdered milk. She didn't care about my child. When I asked why didn't you inform me she said its not required. I shouted her and her mother as they didn't grow in a proper way. Then I brought her to my home with our kid. She haven't been mingling with my bror's & sisters or cousins family members. Even she never mingle with anyone. I didn't take dowry butshe always expects like she came from Ambani's family. I was not able to tolerate and I was about to beat her sometimes. And when my cousins met her, she is degrading me with her words as I never cared about her family and never given money to her. When I asked the same she lies as she didn't tell anything. After asking repeatedly she tried to commit suicide. I feel really bad when some one try to degrade me and committing suicide even there is no reason. She keep on trying to commit, I stopped several times. She is intimidating our family. A few weeks back we invited neighbors and in-laws as it was my kid's birthday function and it went well. On that night after having heavy dinner, she was trying to eat the remaining cake left after distribution. My mother said as it was already late and we had dinner heavily and it is better to have it tomorrow since my wife suffered some vomiting and in digestion in previous days couple of times. My wife shows that as a show stopper to her mom and wanted to go her hometown again and quarreled with us with cheap mentality. All neighbors and myself tried to convince to stop her and her mother to stay calm. I told them to go as their intention is contiuosly shouting at my home. My wife & her family members on birthday night left with my kid at midnight. I don't want to call her again to bring as she made so much shit at my home and even neighbors also said it is their problem and she will come once they realized the value of me. It's been two weeks I didn't call her. But I'm very much bonding with my kid. Even mum and my family members also. I wanted to meet their elder members of the family and other neighbors to show how their behavior is.. What can I do now? I'm in such a desperate situation. Please suggest.
If you are decided to give her divorce then please go through the following FAQs and then decide.
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FOLLOWING ARE QUESTIONS ASKED BY MY OTHER CLIENTS….ON THE SUBJECT OF DIVORCE..
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Dear Sir,
My answers are as follows: Before starting you must remember that it is big task and never fight for case. Be cool and face it.
1, I want to know what is procedure to take divorce now and how much alimony i have to give her and monthly expenses as well.
Ans: Alimony means one time full settlement money given to wife. Montly maintenance is awareded during the pendency of case. She is entitled for one only.
2. What’s are rule and regulation for taking divorce?
Ans: It is given below.
3.I want to know whether my wife can claim her rights on the property of my parents like (my parents house) where i and my family live in as alimony.
Ans: No, wife has no share only right for maintenance or alimony. If she is educated and avoiding employment then alimony will be between Rs.2 – 3 lakhs one time settlement.
4.Will court seal my parent house as alimony ? And even she is asking to sign a paper where it will written as tht I can’t meet my son also in my entire life .
Ans: No, your father property cannot be ancestratl property as such your son not entitled for any share. You should not sign any paper. You have pay monthly maintenance to your son till he attains age of majority, only if you have sufficient means/source of income.
5.Can I take my son custody after 7 years from court.
Ans: Yes, even before that.
6.If I want to do settle out court what is the chance of her asking me for alimony amount?
Ans: Rs. 5 to 6 lakhs.
7.On what bases this alimony and monthly expenses is decided?
Ans: On the basis of your personal income.
8.We can deny if they ask huge amount in alimony to pay as I don’t have that much earning or saving with me to give her huge amount of alimony ?
Ans: Yes, definitely. Then she is entitled for monthly maintenance only.
9.What is the difference between alimony and monthly expenses ?
Ans: Alimony means one time full settlement money given to wife. Montly maintenance is awareded during the pendency of case. She is entitled for one only.
10.Do I need to pay monthly expenses only for my son or I need to pay for wife also it is compulsory to give monthly expenses to wife ?
Ans: yes to both. If you do not pay, your belongings will be attached and you will put into jail, if you are purposefully avoiding.
11.Whether she can do any police complain against me or my family ?
Ans: Yes. But now Supreme Court given several instructions to police before arrest.
12.Whether it is bailable or non bailable complaint?What precautions we shud take to avoid this?
Ans: Non-Bailable unders section 498A IPC and 3 and 4 of Dowry Prohibition Act. You must get aniticipatory bail under section 438 of CrPC
13.Can she harm me and family by putting false alligations ? How to take precautions for all this?
Ans: YES, File quashing petition before the High Court.
14.I even want to know that what are strict norms are there for taking divorce?
Ans: It all depends upon evidence, male rarely get divorce but women get very easily, it is the legal presumption, I am saying this as per my experience as judge.
15.Because my wife is continuously telling me now Norms are very very strict what’s are they?
Ans: Nothing to bother, your advocate protect you.
16.Yes she is working if she is working then I am not liable for her maintenance money
Ans: Yes, your burden will be lessened to 50 to 75%
17.what is section 487A IPC in this can we go bail procedure before and keep it ready with us.
Ans: At the end given.
18.What is RCR?
Ans: It is Restitution of Conjugal Rights filed under section 9 of Hindu marriage Act.
19.What are Section 498A and DV Act?
Ans: Given below
20.Under this act will I get bail or not?
Ans: 498A is non bailble, in these days bail is being given to all husbands if there is delay in FIR.
21.But my wife is asking for Alimony separate and monthly maintenance separate Can I combine both as give her?
Ans: No, law does not permit.
22.It is necessary to give her monthly maintenance in her hand or I can transfer to her account?
Ans: to her account.
22.What is Special marriage act and Indian Divorcee Act?
Ans: Please see below. Both applicable in India.
23.what is the procedure for taking bail?
Ans: Your advocate will tell you if you pay fee.
24.If my wife does second marriage will I be still liable to pay her monthly maintenance?
Ans: No.
25.My wife was troubling me a lot and was keep fighting with me for no reason so in the anger I told her if you continue to trouble me like this I will do Second marriage will this create any problem for me in getting the divorce?
Ans: You will be in jail if you marry without divorce under sectin 494 IPC
26.If I am not capable of paying alimony amount if my wife asks for that what court will take the section.
Ans: If you have money and refuse then you will be sent to jail.
27.From almost 9 months she is at her parent home Can she file a complaint against domestic violence against me or my family?
Ans: yes, police create a very good story and register FIR,
28.Mutual Divorce take 6 month time can we do settlement out of court and take divorce fast?
Ans: yes. if you pay alimony and good fee to your advocate it can be settled within 30 days.
Section 9 in The Hindu Marriage Act, 1955
9 Restitution of conjugal rights. 7 [***] When either the husband or the wife has, without reasonable excuse, withdrawn from the society of the other, the aggrieved party may apply, by petition to the district court, for restitution of conjugal rights and the court, on being satisfied of the truth of the statements made in such petition and that there is no legal ground why the application should not be granted, may decree restitution of conjugal rights accordingly. 8 [ Explanation. Where a question arises whether there has been reasonable excuse for withdrawal from the society, the burden of proving reasonable excuse shall be on the person who has withdrawn from the society.] 9 [***]
Section 498A in The Indian Penal Code
376 [498A. Husband or relative of husband of a woman subjecting her to cruelty.—Whoever, being the husband or the relative of the husband of a woman, subjects such woman to cruelty shall be pun¬ished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to three years and shall also be liable to fine. Explanation.—For the purpose of this section, “cruelty” means—
(a) any wilful conduct which is of such a nature as is likely to drive the woman to commit suicide or to cause grave injury or danger to life, limb or health (whether mental or physical) of the woman; or
(b) harassment of the woman where such harassment is with a view to coercing her or any person related to her to meet any unlawful demand for any property or valuable security or is on account of failure by her or any person related to her to meet such demand.]
Dear Sir,
Your questions are answered as follows:
1.Can she ask me to come to her place or refuse to come to my place?
Ans: No, it cannot be. Her proposal cannot be accepted by Courts.
2.Can she file false dowry and domestic violence case.?
What punishment will be given to her for false cases ?
Ans: She can file but on its failure no punishment can be given to her saying she lodged false cases, since it is family matter.
3.How long shd I wait for getting divorce if contested ?
Ans: About 2-3 years depending upon the tactics of other side.
4.How frequent can I get visitation rights of child and also during trial ?
Ans: Once a 15 days depending upon age and sex of the child.
5.Does my and parents govt job affected by it also pension settlement as my dad will retire in1 year if she files false cases?
Ans: If she includes your parents in the FIR, there will be some problems in pension settlement.
6.Does separation count from the day she left or the day I stopped visiting her ?
Ans: The day she left you that is deserted you.
7.Is it not the duty of wife to come to husband home as supreme court has granted divorce to husband ,in which wife refused to stay with in laws?
Ans: Yes, you are correct.
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The following are similar FAQs asked by my another client....for your ready reference.
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Dear Sir,
My answers are as follows: Before starting you must remember that it is big task and never fight for case. Be cool and face it.
1, I want to know what is procedure to take divorce now and how much alimony i have to give her and monthly expenses as well.
Ans: Alimony means one time full settlement money given to wife. Montly maintenance is awareded during the pendency of case. She is entitled for one only.
2. What’s are rule and regulation for taking divorce?
Ans: It is given below.
3.I want to know whether my wife can claim her rights on the property of my parents like (my parents house) where i and my family live in as alimony.
Ans: No, wife has no share only right for maintenance or alimony. If she is educated and avoiding employment then alimony will be between Rs.2 – 3 lakhs one time settlement.
4.Will court seal my parent house as alimony ? And even she is asking to sign a paper where it will written as tht I can’t meet my son also in my entire life .
Ans: No, your father property cannot be ancestratl property as such your son not entitled for any share. You should not sign any paper. You have pay monthly maintenance to your son till he attains age of majority, only if you have sufficient means/source of income.
5.Can I take my son custody after 7 years from court.
Ans: Yes, even before that.
6.If I want to do settle out court what is the chance of her asking me for alimony amount?
Ans: Rs. 5 to 6 lakhs.
7.On what bases this alimony and monthly expenses is decided?
Ans: On the basis of your personal income
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Sayaree Ganguly
Responded 5 years ago
Its better if you settle the matter amicably. Go for a holiday trip and spend some time with your wife and child . All you lack is a good communication between you and your wife. Else take a separate apartment for yourself, your wife and child. Hopefully things will get sorted. If it still doesn't , go for a divorce .
Thanks.
Sunil Kumar Singh
Responded 5 years ago
Pay to Consult
BIR ABHIMANYU KUMAR
Responded 5 years ago
Sunil Kumar Singh
Responded 5 years ago
Pay to Consult
Vidhikarya
Issue legal notice to her for Restitution of conjugal rights. If she is not interested to join your company after notice then you have right to file case for restitution of conjugal rights under section 9 of Hindu Marriage Act.
Himanshu Mahajan
Responded 5 years ago
2. Try to speak with your wife in solace and see if it works for your.
3. You both may meet with a marriage counselor who will counsel both of you and see if this works.
4. If your wife does not come home after your requests then you can also file a petition for restitution of conjugal rights in the family court under Section 9 of the Hindu Marriage Act 1955.
Suneel Moudgil
Responded 5 years ago
I advise you to-
settle the matter amicably involving some close relatives, otherwise, relations can be destroyed, and your KID will be the most sufferer,
from the facts stated by you, it seems she is at fault, approx 75%, but you are also at fault, obviously, less than her, but how to prove the gravity of fault,
what if she moves to police or file a case for domestic violence/maintenance etc.? such litigation can bitter your relationship.
she had attitude, don't you have ATTITUDE?
think and then act....................
family members, relatives, neighbors will hardly remain with you for a few hearings during litigation but you have to face every hearing and later on, you will found yourself alone battling for never-ending litigation.
better to resolve the issue,
though,
if failed,
ask again.
Good Luck
Anonymous
Replied 5 years ago
Thank you so much, sir for your response. I know she is the only one to stay along with me for life. But she is not behaving good, trying to degrade me & my family. But she keep on behaving the same and if I ask anything trying to commit suicide. And running towards her mother's house. I'm not able to tolerate and it's really panic to go mother in laws house and ask her to bring back. When I ask the same at in-laws house her mother says she is still a kid not know anything ask me to take away after soothing her. Agree, I do have attitude but never shown. And this time she said she won't come if my mother stays with me. What my mother did wrong with her? She said she can live with her mother life long. Without parents it's tough in society and even if separated more tough. She is not considering our kid's growth and life. I'm not sure how much bad I was at her without my faults and how can I go again to bring her? As you said I wait for 1month to realize and come back if not I'll go to close relatives and discuss the same so that everyone knows who's mistake it is.. Thanks.
Suneel Moudgil
Replied 5 years ago
"DIVORCE SHOULD BE THE LAST OPTION"
but sometimes some things go beyond control and we have to take extreme steps,
I do agree with your mental state and from the facts I advise you to
1. try to settle the issues amicably and if failed try to settle her for Mutual Consent Divorce else be ready and strong for some harsh litigation
GOOD LUCK
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