I want to leave a note for my own safety how i dont know the process

I am asking this alot time on this site about my father pressurize me force me to marry that i dont wish to marry If i say no he started panic attack or hit himself on his chest I am 30 year old I waste my 5 month in non legal company who didn't gave me experience letter i mention my work because i was think behalf of this job i can run But because of office politics and not stability how can i leave home at the age of 30 ? I donr have friends And i dont have support I dont wish to marry I try every what lawyer told me even but everytime table turn on me. I dont wish to stay in my father home that my father purchased from my grandmother. I just want to live my life my own term, when i say no to father about i dont wish to live life accordingly you and i dont wish to marry of your choice if i wish to i will or not its up to me. So my father threatening me about he will die , even my father said my son harass me like that, he dont do work eating on my money and my father hit hard on chest and got panic attack. We ( family) told him go to hospital to show your heart but he didn't do. My father having extra marital affair with a lady who is 30 yea younger than him and she is also married with kid.i just saying it because he living his life i dont mind but why he is saying and force and pressurize me every time about marriage to someone i dont want. I dont trust on my siblings,my 2 brother in laws,my mother,grandmother and my father siblings at all because they are like that they support me sometime later they against me and support my father because he is only earning in the family. My father working in government sector still saying that my son dont help me Tell me do i need to help my father who send his half income to my father girlfriend? He even giving maintainance to her kids and my family know about father affairs. I am fresher so i dont getting a job with 20,000 job because its hard to stay on rent under 10,000 salary. So i am looking for job gradually i will shifted to rent and left my family because i am tired. I just wanted that i dont wish to marry ,i am not financially independent at all.my father telling to wedding broker about find a girl for my son, when i heard it i pissed of, in my mind everytime idea came is leave home and stay in rent Because no one with me no one just me. I know it's too long. I just not doing anything reason my younger sister not married yet and she wanted arrange marriage and my father only one who wanted to find a groom for her.but my father is like i am not going to marry my last daughter until my son not . So my father said in 2026 he will find groom and bride for both sister brother. And my mother not saying anything No one is my side they are like flip coin everytime. I dont what i do. So i thinking to leave a note in nearest station for me, if tomorrow i leave my home without nothing so i never be in risk. I just wanted that i wish to live on my term and i wish to marry someone i want but currently i dont have any woman in my life But my father all the time saying it pressurize me its hurt in my ears alot mentally i feel tired. So, Please give advice wha i do. I have decided to leave home this year. Because discuss with thousand times and again thing repeat i told you in the beginning. I am tired of it. So i wanted to runaway from my home and disappear. I just stay in my home that i find a better job so that i can stay on rent But id situation make hard so i have decided t runaway. I just dont knwo what i do dont know