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Domestic Violence and Abuse

Avik Chakravorty
If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship then take cognizance of the early signals and get assistance

Are domestic violence and abuse one and the same?


Contrary to popular belief domestic abuse and violence aren’t one and the same. Any attempts by a person intimately involved in a marital relationship or any other type of intimate bonding at overpowering the other are known as domestic abuse. Both the purposes of domestic violence and abuse are the same and that is gaining and maintaining complete control over one’s partner. Playing fair is unheard of by an abuser. An abuser would rather resort to instilling feelings of guilt, shame, and intimidation, in particular, to dislodge one’s partner and do whatever it takes to ensure that the partner feels subjugated.  


Both domestic violence and abuse may occur to anyone indiscriminately. Abuse occurs as much in heterosexual relationships as it does in same-sex marriages regardless of age group, ethnicity, and economic background. While women are more often than not victimized, men too are abused verbally and emotionally. The crux of the matter is that abusive manners are not acceptable for anyone without exceptions. One deserves to be valued, honored, and feel safe and secure.

Domestic abuse could be potentially escalating to outright violence from what starts as mere threats and verbal slur. Although the danger of physical injury owing to domestic violence looms and lurks as the obvious danger, the consequences of emotional and psychological abuse are the starkest.


Emotional abuse for one’s self-worth can be destructive, lead to or cause anxiety and depression, and make one helpless and lonely. Not even one’s enemy should undergo similar pain. One’s first step is to break the shackles of an abusive and possibly violent relationship as one should not have to endure the excruciating pain of such a relationship. A step in the right direction in such situations is not to be in a state of denial that one is indeed in an abusive relationship.


Signs of an abusive relationship


There are various pointers of an abusive relationship, and the most telling one is fear of one’s partner. If one feels as though one has to walk on eggshells; whatever one says or does is under the scanner to avoid a blow-up—chances are one’s relationship is abusive and unhealthy. Included among other signs are a partner belittling or controlling the other partner and the other partner driven to the point of self-loathing, helplessness, and desperation.


Emotional abuse: It’s a bigger problem than you think


Physical violence is not a part and parcel of an abusive relationship at all times.  Simply because one isn’t bruised and battered doesn’t necessarily mean one is not in an abusive relationship. Men and women alike suffer from emotional abuse, which is as destructive as physical abuse. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often underrated or overlooked even by the victim.

The intent of emotional abuse is to chip away at one’s feelings of independence and self-worth leaving one feeling defeated or have that defeatist mentality of succumbing to one’s abusive partner as there is no light at the end of the tunnel.  


Abusive behavior is a choice


Notwithstanding what the beliefs of many people are, domestic violence and abuse do not occur because of an abuser losing control over their normal behavior. As a matter of fact, abusive and violent behavior is a choice made on purpose for gaining control. A variety of tactics are used by perpetrators for exerting their power and manipulating their victims.


Click here to connect to Vidhikarya’s registered expert Domestic Violence lawyers for further legal advice in this regard. 

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