How to Support a Friend or Family Member Experiencing Domestic Violence
September 17, 2024
Table of Contents
Supporting a loved one experiencing domestic violence can be a challenging and delicate process. Knowing how to help thoughtfully and effectively is critical to ensuring their safety and well-being. This blog offers guidance on how to approach the situation, provide emotional support, and access resources, such as a domestic violence lawyer or free legal advice online, which may be necessary for their protection.
Understanding Domestic Violence
Domestic violence includes any form of abuse, whether physical, emotional, or financial, within a household or intimate relationship. Victims can be anyone, regardless of gender, age, or socioeconomic background. The abuser often seeks control over the victim, using fear and manipulation to maintain power. This can make it difficult for the person experiencing the abuse to recognize their situation or feel empowered to leave.
Recognizing the signs of domestic violence is essential. Some common indicators include:
- Unexplained injuries or frequent "accidents."
- The victim becomes withdrawn, anxious, or depressed.
- The abuser controls the victim’s actions, finances, or social interactions.
- Frequent calls or messages from the abuser to check on the victim’s whereabouts.
Understanding these signs allows you to approach the situation with more awareness and empathy.
Legal Provisions Against Domestic Violence
| LEGAL PROVISIONS | DESCRITION |
| Section 85 and 86 of BNS(earlier known Section 498 A as per IPC,1860) | These sections aim to address various issues related to cruelty by husbands or his relatives towards married women. |
| Indian Evidence Act, 1872 | This act is relevant in cases related to domestic violence. As per this act, rules are provided for legal proceedings. |
| National Commision for Women Act, 1990 | NCW, addresses domestic violence, as its aim is to safeguards women’s rights. |
| Section 12 of Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005 (PWDVA) | This act provides various orders with respect to protection, residence and relief. As the main aim of the act is to cover domestic violence that could be in form of physical, emotional, financial or sexual abuse. |
| The Prohibition of Child Marriage Act, 2006 | Relevant in the case of child brides facing domestic violence, Although the aim of the act is to prohibit child marriages. |
| Criminal Law Amendment Act, 2013 (Section 534A) | This is also relevant in cases of domestic violence, as IPC was amended to include new offenses related to sexual harassment |
| Juvenile Justice Care and Protection of Children Act,2015 | When children face any sort of domestic violence, then this law is relevant. |
Offering Emotional Support
If you suspect a friend or family member is experiencing domestic violence, offering emotional support is one of the most critical things you can do. Here are ways you can help:
Listen Without Judgment
When the person opens up, listen without interrupting or judging. Victims of domestic violence often feel isolated, ashamed, or confused about their situation. Let them speak openly and be there for them as a supportive listener.
Believe Them
Victims may fear they won’t be believed or taken seriously. Show that you trust what they’re saying and acknowledge the courage it took for them to confide in you. Validating their experience is vital in helping them regain confidence.
Avoid Giving Direct Advice
While you may feel tempted to offer solutions, it’s important not to pressure the victim into making immediate decisions. Leaving an abusive relationship is complicated, and they may not be ready. Instead of offering advice, ask how you can support them or what they need.
Encourage Their Strengths
Empowering the person is essential in helping them regain control over their life. Encourage their strengths and remind them of their value, which can help counteract the emotional damage caused by the abuser.
Step by Step Guide for Supporting Victims of Domestic Violence
Here is the step by step guide that outlines the legal process for supporting victims of domestic violence:
Step 1: Acknowledge the problem and evaluate the situation
Offer emotional support: Ask your friend to give more details about the incidents encouraging her at the same time without the intention of judging them.
Assess the level of danger: If there is any immediate danger of violence, then call the police on 100 or the women’s helpline on 181.
Step 2: Report the Matter to Police
File an FIR: Your friend should approach the police station and report the case by filing a First Information Report (FIR). Marital abuse is an offense under Section 85 of BNS, 2023 replaces Section 498A of the IPC. The police ought to record the case and act expeditiously.
Online filing: Many states are now accepting people to file complaints online via the official police websites.
Step 3: Seeking protection through the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005
Contact the State Commission for Women: Contact the State Commission for Women for legal and consultation as well as emotional support. They can assist your friend on matters of law or even accompany him/her through legal procedures.
File a Domestic Incident Report (DIR): Take your friend to a Protection Officer (PO) or service provider under the Act to fill Filing of a DIR, to allow your friend to apply for the protection orders.
Protection orders: The magistrate can give directions that will restrain the abuser within a certain degree or distance from your friend.
Step 4: Legal Assistance
Consult a lawyer: Your friend can go for legal assistance under Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act ,2005. Legal aid services are provided through the National Legal Services Authority which caters free legal aid to the citizens.
Interim orders: Some of the orders that might be made by the courts include orders for financial support by the other party, order for custody of children and order of residence.
Step 5: Medical Assistance
Medical examination: In the case of injuries, make sure your friend seeks treatment at a government facility. Her medical records will be vital pieces of evidence in her case.
Step 6: Shelter and Safety
Shelter homes: The State Commission for Women can forward your friend to state operated shelters or other homes if she requires protection.
Step 7: File for Divorce or Separation (if necessary) – It is only useful in cases that require a legal dissolution of the marriage.
Your friend can seek divorce on the basis of cruelty as provided in Section 13(1)(ia) of Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 or any similar provision under the law applicable to your friend. Legal consultation from a lawyer is needed at this stage.
Step 8: Counseling and rehabilitation
Counseling services: The State Commission for Women offers a service to counsel the victim and her children. Counselling and other rehabilitation support is also offered for the survivors.
Step 9: Child custody and maintenance
Child custody: In cases where there are children involved your friend can apply for custody under the PWDVA. Family courts especially are always keen to the well being of the children.
Maintenance: She can seek maintenance under Section 144 of the BNSS, 2023, which has replaced Section 125 of the CrPC or under the Act.
Practical Ways to Help
In addition to emotional support, practical steps can assist someone in an abusive situation. These can include guiding them to resources, such as a domestic violence lawyer or helping them access free legal advice online.
Provide Information on Resources
Researching and sharing information about local shelters, hotlines, or support groups can be a great way to help without overwhelming the person. They may not know where to turn, and having these resources ready can make it easier for them to seek help when they're ready.
Help Them Contact a Domestic Violence Lawyer
A domestic violence lawyer can provide legal protection and guide them through the legal steps to secure restraining orders or custody of children, if necessary. Knowing their rights and legal options can make a significant difference in ensuring their safety. You can help by finding reputable domestic violence lawyers in their area or by assisting them in navigating legal procedures.
Offer Safe Shelter
Offer your home as a safe place or help them find a shelter. Having a secure place to go can be a vital step in leaving the abusive situation. If they decide to leave, help them pack essentials, such as identification documents, financial records, and personal items.
Accessing Legal Support and Free Advice
Navigating the legal system can be overwhelming for victims of domestic violence. A domestic violence lawyer is often needed to secure restraining orders, file charges, or handle child custody issues. Additionally, for those who may not have the financial means, free legal advice online is available to help them understand their rights.
How a Domestic Violence Lawyer Can Help
A domestic violence lawyer can offer legal guidance, representing the victim in court and helping them understand their options. Whether filing for protection orders, child custody, or divorce, a lawyer ensures that the victim's rights are protected.
Free Legal Advice Online
For those needing help figuring out where to start or unable to afford legal fees, free legal advice online can be an invaluable resource. Many organizations and legal platforms offer free consultations or advice on how to proceed with legal action against an abuser. These services can help victims feel more confident in their decisions and provide essential guidance at no cost.
Understanding the Victim's Hesitation
It's important to understand that victims of domestic violence may hesitate to leave for various reasons. Fear of further harm, financial dependence, concern for their children, or emotional attachment can all play a role in their hesitation.
By being patient, supportive, and understanding, you help reduce their feelings of isolation and fear. Pushing them to take action before they are ready can have the opposite effect, making them retreat further into their situation.
Encouraging Safety Planning
If the person isn't ready to leave the relationship, help them create a safety plan. This plan can prepare them for leaving when they feel it's time. Encourage them to:
- Identify safe areas of the house where they can avoid injury during an argument.
- Memorize emergency numbers or have a phone on hand.
- Keep important documents, money, and a change of clothes packed and hidden somewhere safe.
Having a plan can provide peace of mind and help them feel more in control of their situation.
The Importance of Self-Care
Supporting someone experiencing domestic violence can be emotionally draining. It’s crucial that you take care of your own mental and emotional health while helping your loved one. Reaching out for support or counseling for yourself can ensure you remain strong and steady in providing help.
Conclusion
Supporting a friend or family member through domestic violence is challenging but vital. By listening, offering emotional and practical support, and guiding them to resources like a domestic violence lawyer or free legal advice online, you can help them move toward safety and recovery. Understanding their needs and maintaining patience can make all the difference, ensuring they don’t feel alone in their fight to regain control over their lives.
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