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Are domestic violence and abuse one and the same?Contrary to popular belief domestic abuse and violence aren’t one and the same. Any attempts by a person intimately involved in a marital relationship or any other type of intimate bonding at overpowering the other are known as domestic abuse. Both the purposes of domestic violence and abuse are the same and that is gaining and maintaining complete control over one’s partner. Playing fair is unheard of by an abuser. An abuser would rather resort to instilling feelings of guilt, shame, and intimidation, in particular, to dislodge one’s partner and do whatever it takes to ensure that the partner feels subjugated.  Both domestic violence and abuse may occur to anyone indiscriminately. Abuse occurs as much in heterosexual relationships as it does in same-sex marriages regardless of age group, ethnicity, and economic background. While women are more often than not victimized, men too are abused verbally and emotionally. The crux of the matter is that abusive manners are not acceptable for anyone without exceptions. One deserves to be valued, honored, and feel safe and secure.Domestic abuse could be potentially escalating to outright violence from what starts as mere threats and verbal slur. Although the danger of physical injury owing to domestic violence looms and lurks as the obvious danger, the consequences of emotional and psychological abuse are the starkest. Emotional abuse for one’s self-worth can be destructive, lead to or cause anxiety and depression, and make one helpless and lonely. Not even one’s enemy should undergo similar pain. One’s first step is to break the shackles of an abusive and possibly violent relationship as one should not have to endure the excruciating pain of such a relationship. A step in the right direction in such situations is not to be in a state of denial that one is indeed in an abusive relationship. Signs of an abusive relationshipThere are various pointers of an abusive relationship, and the most telling one is fear of one’s partner. If one feels as though one has to walk on eggshells; whatever one says or does is under the scanner to avoid a blow-up—chances are one’s relationship is abusive and unhealthy. Included among other signs are a partner belittling or controlling the other partner and the other partner driven to the point of self-loathing, helplessness, and desperation.Emotional abuse: It’s a bigger problem than you thinkPhysical violence is not a part and parcel of an abusive relationship at all times.  Simply because one isn’t bruised and battered doesn’t necessarily mean one is not in an abusive relationship. Men and women alike suffer from emotional abuse, which is as destructive as physical abuse. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often underrated or overlooked even by the victim.The intent of emotional abuse is to chip away at one’s feelings of independence and self-worth leaving one feeling defeated or have that defeatist mentality of succumbing to one’s abusive partner as there is no light at the end of the tunnel.  Abusive behavior is a choiceNotwithstanding what the beliefs of many people are, domestic violence and abuse do not occur because of an abuser losing control over their normal behavior. As a matter of fact, abusive and violent behavior is a choice made on purpose for gaining control. A variety of tactics are used by perpetrators for exerting their power and manipulating their victims.Click here to connect to Vidhikarya’s registered expert divorce lawyers for further legal advice in this regard. 

Advice for Women who get DivorcedBeing a woman, emotions run high. Emotions have to be put aside though when dealing with divorce and one has to think logically one step at a time about what may be the cost from a financial, social and legal perspective.  Get Acquainted – Most women, in India, in particular, view marriages as long-lasting. If one were to believe this, then it’s also true that husbands take care of or get involved in financial matters rather than the wife. In fact, wives are much relieved that their husbands are looking after financial matters. In other words, husbands are entrusted with financial matters. This financial dependence of wives on their husbands leads to financial insecurity when women get divorced. Therefore what wives need to do is get their facts in regards to finances right including income of one’s husband, tax-payments, loan installments, fixed deposits, credit balance and disposition, bank accounts and monthly bills.Income apart – It’s a blunder ignoring marital properties and assets including jewelry, car, and insurance policies. All these assets effectively provide financial support while ascertaining alimony and child support. Wives ought to monitor their husband’s stocks and mutual funds investments. Nonetheless, Indian women aren’t aware of what their rights are and are oftentimes fooled by their scheming husbands. Indian women ought to track all the resources of their husbands and not have any feelings of guilt for spying.Maintenance – While one is getting ready for divorce, and in the process, a lawyer is hired, it will burn a hole in the pocket quicker than one may realize. Although one’s family may be supportive, it’s always a good idea to inquire about the maintenance from the courts. In India, it's not  much about fulfilling the needs of a divorcing woman than it's about other aspects including the husband’s willingness to cooperate. Indian law nonetheless has provisions for the maintenance of Indian women while they may await divorce.One’s contribution should be valued – Oftentimes women get emotionally as well as financially attached to their home as they get involved in the building of it. However, they may lose it all once one’s marriage is falling apart. According to Hindu law, women have the right to not part with items both moveable and immoveable, to herself even after the marriage has fallen apart.Evidenced Communication – It's absolutely vital to ensure that any sort of communication written and unwritten such as letters and phone calls are recorded to present as evidence in a court of law strengthening one’s case against one’s husband. If any sort of threat or abuse is recorded through verbal and/or non-verbal communication then that would further strengthen a female spouse’s case against her male spouse. Indian women, however, typically are deeply respectful towards their husbands and their families and owing to the entrenched belief that dragging the family name in court would amount to slander on the honor of her husband’s family, oftentimes they refrain from resorting to taking appropriate retaliatory measures. Indian women ought to bear in mind that once divorced they would break all ties with her former husband’s family and therefore they ought to worry less about her ex-husband’s family and think more about starting a new life.  Be Independent – The vast majority of Indian women quit their jobs once they get married; that is assuming they had a job prior to marriage. It could very well be that they did not pursue a career even before marriage, however, that is a highly unlikely occurrence these days. There are also instances of women giving up their careers to cater to the needs of their husbands or society or family. As and when women are at crossroads they ought to reevaluate their options and opt for resuming their career by brushing up their talents and skills that one believes one can earn one’s bread. Working in addition to giving financial independence, which is a major advantage. Many doors would open as women start working as they can find a roof over their heads. Women ought to accept the financial support of their family temporarily if it's offered.Oftentimes women are distraught at the thought of getting divorced and think more with their heart than their head. In other words, they fail to think rationally and rather tend to think emotionally. As an upshot, the impending or upcoming divorce is neglected and as a result, they are wholly unprepared until they are both financially and emotionally ruined. A divorce can be stressful as well as emotionally and financially taxing on any woman. Therefore ensuring that one has adequate financial support once divorced.Click here to connect to Vidhikarya’s registered expert divorce lawyers for further legal advice in this regard.