Alcoholic and abusive husband allowed to see kids
1 week ago
I was married on 2015 and have 2 sons elder 7 years and younger 4 years. After martiage I realized my husband is a chronic alcoholic. After drinking, he gets violent, get abusive, insult me and my parents. He constantly taunts me and my parents for sthreedan was not provided as per their standard and name in their society. On daily basis, he mentally and physically tortures me and use verbal abuses in front of my minor kids, seeing all this my elder son was under fear and stress. After drinking, he wants to have physical with me, if I deny he insult for being a woman who can’t fulfil his wish and verbally abuse and beat me. I never slept peacefully, physically, mentally and emotionally scared and threatened to life.. I shared all issues with my mother in law, but she asks me to tolerate for kid’s sake and discourage me from going to Mumbai in a fear that I will share all incidents to my parents by saying this would anger their son and disturb my parent’s peace. Me and kids stayed with in laws for sometime but she acts like supporting me and behind me sending voice messages or speaking with her son saying they won't allow me to take kids if I divorce. , they all tolerated me, as long I played puppet in their hands did what they wanted and lived how they wanted me to. They are dominative and wants to control me completely either by threatening or torturing me. his behaviour became unpredictable after drinking, he throws up or pass out and make life hell and become like a demon and treated with extreme cruelty, it became regular feature to physically and mentally abuse me and use verbal abusive languages to kids. He used to say I am eating his shits that’s why I have to live as per his wish. When I deny his needs, abuse me, and throw foods and kicked me out of house one night. Seeing all my elder son started hating his father and saying he is bad and doesn't want to stay with him. Because of this my husband started torturing and scolding elder son saying mere paise ka khaana hai lekin mein nahi chahiye.But some how last year onwards me and kids staying with my parents.Even here my husband and mother in law started threatening me to kill and will forcibly take kids from me. As per earlier advocate advice I was showing kids through video call to him and his family. Later on I came to know my advocate didn't file my case and was speaking with my husband and mother in law for compromise. My husband doesn't want to run behind case and court. As I changed advocate and file divorce and dv from protection office and from last month I am not showing kids on video call and as suggested by my advocate ask them to take approval through court. But still my husband and in laws message me to show kids on video call. So, please advice not showing my kids on video call will affect on child custody I don't want his behaviour to influence my kids badly. I had tolerated everything for 9 years, I know he won't change and can put on a drama to get whatever he wish. Even I had heard his mother saying to him let your wife go any were but does not let kids go with her atheist for kids sake stop drinking for a while.
you may file child custody case and get permanent custody of children without any reservation for your husband for visitation rights as he is a drunkard.
As stated in the query, you have already taken legal action against your errant and unruly husband filing a case for Domestic Violence and a petition for divorce in the Court, so no further advice in this regard is required as of now. As regards custody of the child post a decree of divorce, it may be informed that on the dissolution of marriage through a decree of divorce, the custody of a child below 5 years of age is given to the mother. As per the Guardians and Wards Act 1890, once a child reaches the age of 9 years, his/her preference for custody is considered by the Court on appeal seeking custody of a child by either parent. Fathers can get sole custody of their children. To do so, first and foremost he must establish the unfitness of the mother before the Court seeking the custody of the child. The court must also feel that the father meets the "best interest standard" of the child. In addition, there are aspects of a custody case where fathers may have an additional burden to prove that mothers do not. These include paternity, the primary caretaker role, and home environment quality. Only in case, the court feels that the mother is unfit to take care of the child, the custody will go to the father. It is always recommended to consult an expert divorce lawyer to get the right legal advice before filing a contested divorce petition if there is no scope for mutual divorce as grounds for contested divorce reflect the various challenges and complexities that may arise in the course of divorce proceedings.
It's commendable that you've taken steps to protect yourself and your sons by seeking legal recourse through divorce and filing for protection.
Given the history of abuse and the potential negative influence on your children, it's understandable that you're hesitant to continue showing them on video calls to your husband and in-laws. Protecting your children from further exposure to toxic behavior is paramount. Your decision to follow your advocate's advice and seek approval through the court for any contact arrangements is a responsible one.
Not showing your kids on video calls does not necessarily imply a negative impact on child custody. It's crucial to prioritize their safety and well-being above all else. Documenting any threats or coercive behavior from your husband and in-laws can strengthen your case for protecting your children from potential harm. Remember, the court's primary concern is the best interests of the children, and your actions to safeguard them demonstrate your commitment as a responsible parent.
Continue to work closely with your advocate and seek support from organizations or individuals specializing in domestic violence and family law. .
Travel abroad
Child custody/ separaration
Alcoholic father allowed to see children through video calls
Mutual DV and child custody
Living separately for 7 years
