Living apart for almost 1year

10 months ago

Hi, I am married for 4 years for now and it was a love marriage. From the day one of my marriage, my wife always had a problem with my family. During our honeymoon, just came to know that she was liking another man and I myself had seen the text messages on her phone. When the same was questioned to her, she replied I am not happy with you, it's because of you am liking someone else. I was little afraid to bring this in front of the parents and lately they both stopped seeing each other. I was totally broken down from the day I came to know this, still kept quiet with regards to this. Later she apologized for her act and time flew. But I always was feeling literally bad for the act of her and never could forget it, it's always in my head till date and never been happy and lost the spark completely.
As I mentioned she always had a problem with my family bringing her career first as she is a Professional who is doing well with her job and earns equally to me.
She never helps in the household chores saying that I can't cook and help and she rushes to help at home. Daily we had this issue, I have helped a lot at home doing household chores as well because it's everyone's responsibility and not only the wife. After doing all these things also, she complains about family. My mom has supported her in all ways, yet she blames. Meanwhile my mom started feeling sick and unwell with regards to her health. My wife had a problem to takecare of her and refused to be there for my mom when she needed the most. Days past and my wife started being silent at home and I have questioned this as well, she used to refuse to answer. Once I asked her, what's happening, why are you so silent and upset always? she replied, that she doesn't know what she wants in life and surely is unhappy with the life she was having with me. Honestly speaking, I should be the person who should say this, anyways can't help. Looking at this I asked, what she wanted, she said I think it's better to stay separate. Mutually the same was brought in front of my parents, she communicated that we are not happy with eachother and not compatible and have different wants in life. Since it was a love marriage, it was obvious that they refused to get involved and told mutually come to a decision.
The same was communicated to her parents as well and was again obvious that they weren't happy with the same and assumed that after few days she will get back to her husband's place.
After this, she herself packed her bags and left to her place. After few days, I started communicating with her saying to take things forward amicably and close this. Even she was in agreement with the same. After 3-4 months of living apart, her parents came with her and requested to patch up. But by then I was very sure that I had no feelings for her for what has happened continuously from the day one of the marriage. I had communicated the same with my parents and even they agreed to it and kept informing the same to her parents as well. But her parents are still insisting to try, where I really have no energy and don't wanna invest my time anymore.
Back and forth communicating with her is really being difficult now. It's been almost a year now living apart. Here and there I am trying to call and message and she isn't responding to any of that purposely.
As I mentioned above about my mum's health, currently my mum's health is serious and has depleted completely and is bed ridden now. My wife never showed up before but all of a sudden from nowhere she comes to home crying that I wanna stay with you by taking care of mom. We sent her back telling, will talk about it after few days as we have a patient at home currently.
I am totally devastated with the whole thing, very stressful. Knowing about her nature, she just can't tolerate me being happy in my future and only and only due to jealous she has come back and not for real.
My mom health is being serious and in between this, my wife is now wanting to stay. Honestly I am not at all interested to continue as I have lost hopes and trust.
My current priority, I intend to get divorce, please suggest me something!!