Seeking separation/Divorce

1 year ago

I've been married for last 14 years, with 2 daughters, and thought my married life was a dream, and the luckiest couple around, however recently in August 2022, I came to know my wife had a relationship before marriage for 2 years (2003 to 2005) but intended arrange marriage could not materialize due to family reasons. (However I was told other way after 8 years our marriage that it was an arrange marriage which did not work, and post family meeting they both had the typical conversation of would-be for 1.5 moths, and the chapter was closed when marriage did not happen)
This guy married after 6 months to another girl, post their marriage did not happen, HOWEVER my wife was in regular contact with her on phone, in the 6 months before the marriage of this guy, and post his marriage, and continued further even after 2 YEARS when we married to me in 2008.
After marriage she use to call him almost every day or week, while i was working 40KM away from home every day, after 8 years of marriage i one day asked who is this guy you keep talking all the time, thats when she told me he is a very good friend of her, since then they started video call with both families greeting and talking, but this was just one side of the story for me specifically.
When i pressed her in few days again she told me that it was the guy with whom their arrange marriage did not happen, and they are now very good friends since 2005, for which i had no problems or susceptions at all as i had a notion (or told only 1.5 months and not 2 years of relation before arrange marriage) and she being liberal and educated i had given all the freedom as well.
This May 26, 2022, my wife wanted to visit her home town with me and kids for the summer vacation of kids, but i could not as the internet is not good their which could hamper my job so I stayed in Delhi and my wife and kids when to Kerala, after 32 days they returned to Delhi on 28 June, and i had to visit Hyderabad on 06th July, from my company, and returned on 24th July.
Post my return to Delhi, i saw lot of changes in my wife's attitude, while speaking to this guy and the calls were all the time, as i work from home and work night shifts I could only see call logs and lot of message in native language which I cannot understand at all.
My wife was so happy while taking to this guy and also had a glow on her face when ever there was any whatsapp message which I could only see, and no one else could tell, with my 14 years live with her, i was seeing the changes, i saw the call logs, on an average THEY BOTH WERE ON CALLS FOR 3 HOURS A DAY, with exception of whatsapp chat starting from morning 5am until 8.30-9PM everyday and whatsapp calls also.
I confronted her in the first week of August 2022, she said they are good friends and nothing they share their daily chores to each others on calls and nothing else,
My suspicion had grown big time, since i did night shift i my wife would sleep, i started going through the whatsapp message (which i used translator) which were a living proof that they were in a relation, and when i got tough she simply said there are normal message which any friend will talk, and that I was making stories with my imaginations.
I started drinking and smoking from that day and did not talk to her, this continued for next 3 weeks.
In those 3 weeks I use to should and quarrel with her, said that she is cheating with me and i was highly suicidal during those 3 weeks, tried to cut my hands, my job was getting effected and finally no sleep at all, on the other hand my kids were suffering who had some idea what was happening between mom and dad and the reason to some extent, she finally came and accepted that yes, DURING HER VISIT IN KERALA, SHE GOT LOT OF TIME TO SPEAK WITH HIM AND THERE HE CONFESSSED HIS LOVE AND ALSO HIS DREAM OF MY WIFE THAT SHE IS THE ONLY GIRL IN HIS LIFE SINCE 2003, DISPITE BEING HAPPILY MARRIED AND 3 KIDS.
And when she returned back to Delhi and i had gone to Hyderabad for 18 days, she got plenty of time and leisure to talk in length about their feelings and the relation which had again started.
And that this guy was desperately mad about her, and said he could either travel to Delhi to meet her or can give one of his house for my wife and kids at their home town to come and live their for the rest of the life.(this guy is rich, has properties across premium location in Kerala, yes he is a businessman)

My wife has been saying that she has blocked this guy and will never talk to him again in his life, so i tried to come over it, but i did not stop drinking, one day while i was drunk she said that I will allow her to talk to him at least 10 minutes a month.
Now this statement made me worried.

Later she said she will not contact him in her entire life, and the 3 hours of talking was not acceptable, and she made a huge mistake, and that is when she by mistake said that they had 2 years of relation and i was shocked to the extent, i again felt suicidal and not able to digest the truth at all.

Now i have no trust on my wife even thought she is crying all the time in front of me for her repentance and mistakes she made.

I need advice on this, please, please suggest what can i do here.